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Just Go Away This Year

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In case you didn’t notice, a new year started recently. Times like this we often reflect on what will happen and what changes we hope to make in the new year. I also like to think of it as an opportunity to make some wishes for celebrities I would like to hear absolutely nothing about in 2011.

Lindsay Lohan – Ms. Lohan has become a total joke. She once had promising music and acting careers, but now she just spends her time shuffling from rehab to jail to drinking binge to fighting with Rainbow Poo. I have had enough. She also has really awful hair. Can we lock her up in some real jail and throw away the key?

Taylor Lautner – This talentless hack is best known for taking his shirt off and pretending he is dating that other Taylor, when we all really know he is a big ‘mo. He can’t act and his attractiveness is incredibly overrated. I think the sun should go down on this fruitcake.

Any female with the name Kardashian -Who are these women anyway? Why are they even a topic of discussion? I guess my lack of interests in mammary glands makes me an unlikely target for their charms, but frankly the same could be said for female strippers and hookers. They just need to go back into whatever kloset they came out of.

Katy Perry – While we are talking about untalented women who act like sex workers, I would like Katy Perry to disappear. Her brand of generic vapid pop should have died with the career of Britney Spears, but alas record producers can always sell breasts that sing off key. Let’s hope that 2011 finds her moving to a deserted island with her skeezy husband.

The Situation – Stupid, chest baring women aren’t the only idiots I want to see disappear this year. Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is in a cast of crazy characters who don’t deserve any more screen time or brain cells devoted to them. When did it become acceptable and celebrated to be so positively inane? Please go back to the shore, tie on your cement sneakers and walk into the Atlantic.

What celebrities do you want to see take a long walk off the proverbial short pier this year? Tell us in the comments so we can make fun of them on Rainbow Poo.



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